Chapter 1: Reunion 1
Chapter 1: Reunion 1
───I can't take this anymore, I want to die.
Spring of my second year in high school.
I, Kuromine Riku, confessed to my childhood friend whom I had been close to since I was young──and was shockingly rejected me.
Can you believe it? When we were in elementary school, we used to take baths together and sleep holding hands in the same bed. Even in middle school and high school, we didn't take baths together anymore, but we used to go to school together.
We were always together, and people often treated us like a couple.
By this point, anyone would be convinced of mutual feelings, right? At least, I was convinced.
That's why I confessed to my childhood friend, coinciding with entering the second year of high school...
But what was the result?
"I'm sorry. Riku-chan, I actually only see you as a childhood friend not as opposite sex."
What the hell! What's up with that! Not seeing me as the opposite sex, what's that about!
I had been thinking about various things, you know!
After we started dating, we would go to various places holding hands and...
Both of us were nervous, but we will had our first experiences together...
I had all sorts of imaginations, like getting married, becoming a couple, and having children in the future!
And yet... what happened? Not seeing me as the opposite sex, what's up with that?
Am I an amphibian? A non-human creature?
Urgh.
"I can't take it anymore, I can't find any reason to live."
I really liked my childhood friend. I thought we had mutual feelings.
I thought it was a battle I would win, but instead, I lost before even fighting.
Seppuku, seppuku~ (suicide)
"I don't care anymore. Screw m life."
I want to escape from this painful feeling.
I have decided to ────── commit suicide.
◇◇◇
The current time is 9 PM.
Looking for a place to commit suicide without being found by anyone, I rode my bike towards the mountains.
It's a three-hour distance from home. I don't plan on going back. Goodbye.
I desperately climbed the paved mountain road, breathing heavily.
The surroundings were dark, and I couldn't see properly. I only had the bike's light to rely on.
"Damn, I'm thirsty... and dying."
I pedaled the bike like a fool, as my sweat was dripping. Every cell in my body was for craving water.
Is there any vending machine somewhere around here...?
As I continued riding my bike, I saw a light in the distance.
That's... a convenience store.
There's a convenience store in the middle of the mountains. Well, that's relief.
It's like a person stranded in a desert discovering an oasis. (TL: A place where you can find safety and sustenance.)
Feeling excited, I decided to go on the convenience store.
There were no cars parked in the parking lot. There was only one bike parked in the corner.
At this time, I guess no one comes to the convenience store in the mountains. It's far from residential areas.
I parked my bike and headed towards the convenience store.
Passing through the automatic doors, a pleasant cold air pierced through my body. Ah, this is making me alive.
"Welcome!"
I made eye contact with the girl at the cash register... She seems kind of plain.
She had messy brown hair and large glasses that made it hard to see her face.
It's a bit rude to say, but she seemed like the type who would quietly sit in the corner of the classroom.
"Gah! Uh...!"
What's happening? Suddenly, I started feeling a sharp pain in my stomach!
"Um, excuse me. Can I use the restroom...?"
"Sure."
I quickly rushed to the restroom, barely making it in time.
◇◇◇
Phew, that feels better.
It was an intense battle that lasted nearly twenty minutes, but I managed to emerge victorious.
"...Wait, what am I doing?"
I came to the mountains with the intention of committing suicide, and yet here I am at the convenience store, seeking hydration...
Rejected by my childhood friend, and now I'm going cycling?
Ah, this is getting worse. I'm starting to feel like I want to die when I think about being rejected by my childhood friend.
It's like becoming indifferent and apathetic towards everything... My emotions are fading away.
Let's quickly buy a drink and go find a place to commit suicide.
After leaving the restroom and washing my hands, I headed towards the drink corner.
"Hey! Hurry up and give me the money! Or I'll kill you!"
I heard a rough voice. What's going on?
I had a sports drink in one hand as I made my way to the cash register.
There, I saw a chubby man wearing a knit hat, holding a knife to the unassuming store clerk. Oh, a convenience store robbery, huh?
"Hurry up and give me the money!"
"Eek... Ah, aah... Sniff... Hiccup..."
Overwhelmed by fear, the store clerk started sobbing. With trembling hands, she desperately tried to operate the cash register and retrieve the money. All she had in her hand were all coins though.
"Um, um... this is all I have..."
"What?! That's everything, all of it! What can I do just f*cking coins?! Use some common sense! At times like this, you should be handing me a thousand yen bill or something! Think logically, damn it!!"
"Ah... I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry! *sob*..."
The store clerk, bombarded with the man's angry voice, finally started crying uncontrollably.
Oh well, she looks pitiful. I wonder when it will be my turn.
I've been standing behind the man for a while now, but what should I do in this situation?
And in the next moment, the man suddenly turned around and looked at me.
Reflexively, I lowered my head.
"Uh, hello."
"Hello... huh? Are you stupid?!"
The man's surprised voice echoed through the store. Jeez, he's so loud. My ears hurt.
"Wh-what's up with that loud voice. Huh?!!"
"Loud? You... Whaaat?! What's your deal, where did you come from?!"
"I'm taking a sh*t. I was in the restroom."
"The restroom... I'm not talking about that! Do you understand the situation?!"
"I do understand. You're robbing the convenience store, right?"
"You knew it, and yet you're so calm! Are you a member of the special forces or something?!"
"No, I'm just a male high school student looking for a place to commit suicide."
"Dark Secret!"
This old man seems to be quite energetic.
I'm about to commit suicide, you know? I wish he would be a little more restrained.
The store clerk is crying too.
"Hey, you little brat! Are you mocking me?"
"Huh?"
"You're looking down on me because I can't kill people!" Said as the furious old man approaches me with his knife.
In the past, I would have been so scared that I would wet myself, but in this current state of my negativity, I couldn't think of anything other than 'I'm being threatened with a knife.'
"I'll kill you, kid!"
"...If you want to?"
"Huuuh?"
The old man utters a rather foolish voice.
"No, go ahead and kill me. I said it earlier. I'm looking for a place to die."
"N-No way, man! It's not that easy."
"I lost my family in a car accident, and even my childhood friend, who was my only emotional support, rejected me... I've become so tired of life..."
"Oh... Seriously?"
"If you're going to do it, do it quickly. And after you kill me, don't lay a finger on the store clerk, alright? If you harm the store clerk, I'll curse and kill you, old man."
Is this the last act of kindness I can do, protecting a plain clerk?
I gaze at the old man's face and boldly declare,
"Come! Kill me."
"Kuh, ah... Aah!"
"Kill me!"
"Guh, ugh... It's impossible for me!"
With that shout, the old man drops his knife and runs out of the convenience store.
...Damn it. I thought it would save me the trouble of finding a place to commit suicide.
Feeling disappointed, I place the sports drink on the counter.
*...Sniff... Sniff...*
"Um, excuse me?"
"You..re... Kuromine-kun... right?"
"Huh?"
I'm surprised. The plain clerk just mentioned my name.
"...Well, I'm... Hoshimiya Ayana... same class as you.. but..."
"...Huh?"
Hoshimiya Ayana is a cute gal in the same class as me.
She has a ponytail with brown hair, a beautifully made-up face, and an outstanding figure that can immediately catch the attention of mens. She has a flawless personality, always bright and cheerful, and kind to everyone. She often shows a lovely smile even in classroom.
Hoshimiya Ayana, who is considered to be one of the most popular girls in the school, is actually stylish gyaru.
In other words, she's like the embodiment of popularity.
...No way, it's gotta be a lie.
The plain girl in front of me doesn't look anything like Starlight Ayana. (TL: Hoshi - Star, Miya - Shine)
So I decided to take a closer look.
Her messy brown hair and glasses make it hard to tell, but there is definitely a resemblance in her features.
"Um, sorry to ask, but... could you stay until the manager comes?"
"Why?"
"Well, it's, um... the rules... I think they'll ask me a lot of questions..."
"Sigh... Fine, I guess."
It's a hassle, but there's no way I can inconvenience Hoshimiya like this.
So I reluctantly nod in agreement.
◇◇◇
I explained the situation to the store manager who arrived, and now it was time to involve the police.
Since it was almost 10 PM, we decided to discuss the details on another day.
By the way, I kept quiet about coming to the mountains to commit suicide.
However, the surveillance camera footage showed me confidently confronting the man with the knife, and the police and the store manager questioned me about it.
At first, I considered explaining everything, but I judged that it would definitely become troublesome. So, I simply said I pretended to be brave because I was scared' and left it at that.
They were skeptical adults, but in the end, they came to trust my words.
Although, I was scolded seriously with "Don't do something dangerous!"
"You're amazing, Kuromine-kun."
"Huh?"
I was suddenly praised. Curiously I had, I looked at Hoshimiya's face next to me.
...She had a face that looked pathetic after crying.
Right now, we were in a corner of the convenience store parking lot, a small area where bicycles parked.
The cool breeze characteristic of the mountains gently brushed against our skin. The surroundings were pitch dark. The dazzling light emanating from the convenience store illuminated Hoshimiya's profile, creating shadows.
"You saw through the convenience store robber's fear and improvised by pretending to be a suicide volunteer, right? Your courage is amazing. I didn't know you're also smart."
Hoshimiya's pure eyes sparkled as she directed a gaze of admiration towards me.
Ah, so Hoshimiya was also deceived like the police.
She has a beautiful heart despite being a gal. No, now she's Messy Megane-chan.
"I lied about everything I told the adults. I really intended to commit suicide."
"Huh?"
"I told the convenience store robber as well, but it's true that my family died in a traffic accident, and it's true that my childhood friend rejected me. That's why I came here to commit suicide."
It was back in my chuunibyou days, I think. It happened when the four of us, my parents, sister, and I, were walking in the town.
As my shoelaces came untied, I stopped and called out to my parents and sister who were walking ahead of me—then a car crashed into them. It's an unforgettable scene that I will remember for the rest of my life.
A sight of people being blown away all at once is not something to be seen. It's something I don't want to see anymore.
"That's the story. Goodbye, Hoshimiya."
I straddled my bicycle and was about to start pedaling... when she suddenly grabbed my arm.
Then I looked at Hoshimiya, startled. It took my breath away.
Hoshimiya Ayana────was crying.
Tears flowed uncontrollably as she sobbed and cried out.
"Hoshi...miya?"
"It was really... really tough, right? Losing your family... being rejected by someone you love... *sniff*"
"Huh?"
"I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to endure it. Because, you know... just imagining it... *sniff*... ughhh...!"
Hoshimiya even more cried in front of me, like a young child, unable to even speak properly.
"You're amazing, Kuromine-kun... You've really... worked so hard... to keep living..."
"────"
It wasn't just empty comforting. She was saying it sincerely. Hoshimiya was earnestly expressing her thoughts to me.
Her overflowing tears were the strongest evidence of that.
"I'm... I'm sorry. My life has been peaceful... I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you... but still, I don't want you to die... *sniff*"
I could feel the strength in Hoshimiya's hand gripping my arm.
"Hoshimiya, for now, please let me go."
"I... I know it's selfish of me... but, Kuromine-kun... please, *sniff* I want you to live... "
What a strange feeling it was.
The cheerful and kind gal in our class had transformed into a plain girl, crying and worrying about me. It felt like a small, warm flame had ignited in the depths of my heart.
"Kuromine-kun... *hic*... *sniff*"
"Alright... I got it. I will do what you said..."
"Re-really?"
"I promise."
Hoshimiya, with an anxious expression, confirmed my words, and I nodded deeply.
If I were to commit suicide now, Hoshimiya would be devastated beyond more.
To be honest, I came to the mountain with the intention of not caring about what happens to others. But seeing Hoshimiya's tear-stained face, it change my mind...
"Hoshimiya, you're surprisingly a crybaby, huh? You were crying during the robbery too."
"W-Well, of course I'd cry! I was really scared!"
Hoshimiya started sobbing again. It's my fault.
Being threatened by a robber with a knife is naturally terrifying experience.
However, Hoshimiya is a girl, all alone in this place. It must have been a traumatic experience for her.
"Well... I'm glad you're safe, Hoshimiya."
"Same to you... *sniff*"
She sniffled, finally letting go of my arm.
Come to think of it... Besides my childhood friend, this is the first time someone of the opposite sex has touched me.
"Is your house nearby around here, Hoshimiya?"
"Yeah, it's about a 15-minute bike ride from here."
"Isn't it far from school?"
"It is. But I take the train, so it's not that bothersome. Is your house nearby too, Kuromine-kun?"
"Not at all. I rode my bike for three hours to get here."
"Eh, w-why!?"
"Because I came here to die!"
"Seriously! That's nothing to be proud of! Ah... *sniff*... *hic*"
Emotions surged up again, and tears started flowing from her eyes.
I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that so casually.
Should I kneel down and apologize? Or perform seppuku... No, that would be counterproductive.
...But she really cries a lot, huh?
Hoshimiya was always a cheerful and kind gal in class. I never imagined her as someone who would cry so much.
"It's okay, Hoshimiya. I promise I won't commit suicide."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I promise."
I looked into Hoshimiya's eyes and earnestly reassured her.
Seeming satisfied with my words, she let out a sigh of relief.
"It must be tough for you to ride back for three hours now... Do you live with someone? Maybe they can come and pick you up?"
"That's unfortunate, but I live alone. By the way, I don't even have enough money to call a taxi. I only have five yen left."
"I see... That's tough."
"It's not that tough, you know. Meeting you like this... It means we have a connection. Just like the five yen." (TL: five yen means fate in japanese.)
"Hehe, you're funny, Kuromine-kun."
Hoshimiya smiled genuinely. Despite saying it myself, was it really that funny?
It wasn't clever at all. In fact, it would have been more amusing to be insulted with 'That's kinda plain.'
"Kuromine-kun, if you want, would you like to come to my place?"
"...Huh?"
It was an unexpected proposal, and a silly voice slipped out.
"I live alone too, so there's nothing to worry about."
Well, there definitely are things to worry about, right?
A young man and woman living under the same roof, just the two of them.
I tried to convey that thought through my gaze, but Hoshimiya had a refreshed expression on her face after crying. Ah, I see. She doesn't see me as the opposite sex.
Ah, I've heard that from my childhood friend too, damn it. Inevitable descent into darkness.
If I had a nuclear bomb switch in my hands, I would press it without hesitation.
"...Kuromine-kun?"
"It's nothing. Yeah, let me stay over tonight."
"Okay. Oh, but let me clean up the room first."
"Got it. Feel free to clean up as much as you want."
"It's not that messy as you think, really!"
Hoshimiya pouted lightly and sent me a slightly reproachful look. She's so cute.
I followed Hoshimiya, who started pedaling her bicycle. I chased after her on my own bicycle.
And like this, the me who had planned to commit suicide ended up staying at Hoshimiya's house.
And now, I realize. If I had gone through with the suicide, I might have burdened my childhood friend with an incredible weight. In every sense, Hoshimiya might have saved me.
"Hey, Hoshimiya."
"Yeah, what is it?"
Slowing down, Hoshimiya turned back. With a little embarrassment, I expressed my gratitude.
"Well, thanks!"
"Haha, no need to thank me. I should be the one thanking you for saving me from the robber."
If that's the case, Hoshimiya, you saved my life.
It was because I saw your earnest, tear-filled face that it change my heart. But──
...I'm probably pushover than I thought.
Chapter 1 Part 1 End
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