Chapter 5: Determination 1
Chapter 5: Determination 1
I don't remember how I managed to get back home after that.
Just I wake up, I was lying on my own bed.
"...Morning, huh?"
Through the gap in the curtains, I could see the clear blue sky.
I looked at the clock on the shelf by my pillow and it was already 9 o'clock.
"I'm late... Should I just skip today?"
I got up from bed and went on my smartphone from the table. I received a message from Haruno, saying "Are you skipping school today? Ayana-chan isn't here either."
...It seems Hoshimiya is also absent. That's to be expected. Given the situation last night. She will probably be absent for a while.
"..."
Hoshimiya's parents committed suicide. Why did they do it?
It's because they killed my family.
No, saying they killed them wouldn't be accurate.
It was traffic accident.
Even though I knew that, I can't organize my feelings.
But that doesn't mean I hold any grudges against Hoshimiya...
"What the hell... Damn."
Can something like this really happen?
I thought things will go well with Hoshimiya. After I resolve the stalker issue.
But I can remember it vividly now. The moment the accident happened.
Hoshimiya and her parents stepping out of the car...
And the fading sense of emptiness. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, leaving me with a hollow feeling.
It was a sensation of emptiness inside my body. A feeling I haven't experienced in a long time...
"Living is such a hassle."
I lay back on the bed again and closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about anything.
As if rejecting the current reality, I let my consciousness sink into the world of dreams.
My mind and my body already reached their limits.
◇ ◇ ◇
"... So tired."
When I woke up, it was already around noon. Even in this situation, I felt hungry. I wanted to eat something.
"I wonder if there's anything..."
I got up from bed and left the bedroom, heading towards the kitchen where the refrigerator was.
"...Nothing."
The refrigerator was empty. For some reason, there was only an expired tube of wasabi sitting there.
"...Well, I don't even care anymore."
I became apathetic towards everything. I returned to the bedroom and collapse myself onto the bed.
As I blankly stared at the ceiling, I suddenly remembered Hoshimiya's innocent smiling face.
"...Ah, damn it. What the hell?"
Tears started overflowing. The tears I shed after a long time felt incredibly hot, and it seemed like my cheeks were getting burned.
"..."
Always... It's always like this. Everytime the things go well, there's always something preventing it.
Fate, or whatever you call it, doesn't allow me to walk a smooth and happy path.
"My life is really shitty, huh."
When Haruno rejected me, I still had the energy to do something reckless.
But now... I don't even have the energy to think about wanting to die.
"What is Hoshimiya doing right now...?"
She was crying so much, surely she's still going through a difficult time...
*Ding-dong.*
The doorbell rang. But I don't care.
I decided to close my eyes and go to sleep...
*Ding-dong.*
"..."
My intuition says it's Haruno.
But it's lunchtime now, means she's in school...
"Should I go?"
I felt exhaustion all over my body, but I sluggishly got up and headed towards the entrance.
As I slowly opened the door...
"Oh, Riku-chan! Your bedhead is incredible... Good morning, I guess?"
"...Haruno?"
"Yeah, it's me! Haruno, your precious childhood friend, has come to play!"
The presence of her bright smile, like sun is always right there.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Haruno, isn't it school time now?"
"I snuck out. It's my first time skipping school... hehe."
Haruno playfully acted dumb with her cheerful demeanor.
Normally, she would be too adorable, and I would be utterly smitten, but now I couldn't feel anything.
"...Why?" I asked.
"Isn't it obvious?"
Laughing, Haruno looked at me with eyes that seemed to say, 'Don't you really know?'
"To meet my dear childhood friend... to see the person I love."
Haruno said that with a gentle, slightly wistful smile.
She shouldn't know what happened between me and Hoshimiya.
Even so, she must have sensed that something had happened, given that I was absent from school without saying anything. So, this is what it means to have a childhood friend, huh....
"Just so you know, I did send a message saying I would come from now on... but you didn't saw it, didn't you?"
"...Yeah, my bad."
"It's okay, no need to apologize. I came here without considering Riku-chan's situation."
No, she came because she was worried about me.
Haruno has a serious personality and would never skip school just for her own convenience.
"...?"
I suddenly noticed the supermarket bag that Haruno was holding. Inside were various ingredients, it seemed.
Noticing my gaze, Haruno lightly lifted the supermarket bag.
"Oh, this? Since it's you, Riku-chan, you probably haven't eaten anything, right? I'll show off my cooking skills and make something for us!"
With a self-assured smile, she huffed and puffed, showing her determination. It seemed like she knew everything in advance...
◇ ◇ ◇
Unfortunately, the cooking utensils had gathered dust as they had never been used before. There's no way I would cook.
"Oh dear, it turned out like this after all, Haha. You're a boy who can't live alone."
"I'm managing just fine. I've survived this long without dying."
"That's because I've been inviting you to have dinner regularly. And until recently, you were taken care of by Ayana-chan, right?"
"..."
"I see."
What does she mean by "I see"? Haruno seemed to have sensed something from my silent response, as she briefly showed a serious expression before quickly returning to her smile.
"Hey, Riku-chan, wait in the room."
"Mmn.."
I nodded and headed to the dining area and sat on the chair. Without thinking about anything, I watched Haruno put on an apron over her uniform. Me, someone who had no interest in housework, I had no idea what she was doing, but it seemed like she's pretty skillfull in preparing ingredients for cooking.
However, it's somehow... like the ideal I had in the past.
I had dreamed of becoming a family with Haruno.
If it could become a reality, would it be like this?
◇ ◇ ◇
"Thank you for the meal."
"It was delicious."
What Haruno made for us was oyakodon. It had a fluffy and creamy egg, tender and savory chicken, and the crispness of the onions added a nice touch. Eating delicious food enriches one's life.
Despite my listless feeling earlier, I was starting to become a little more positive.
I looked up and noticed that Haruno, sitting across from me, had a happy smile on her face.
"You seem happy about something..."
"Yeah, I am. Because Riku-chan always eats with such an appetizing expression. It makes me feel accomplished as a cook."
"...Your food always tastes delicious, Haruno."
"I'm glad to hear that, Riku-chan."
It was a casual conversation. Yet, those simple words managed to heal my heart.
However, the unavoidable truth remained.
"Hey, Haruno."
"Yeah, what is it, Riku-chan?"
"Did you know about Hoshimiya?"
"...?"
Haruno had been looking at me with a gentle expression, but suddenly, her face tightened.
"Tell me. Did you know about Hoshimiya?"
"Riku-chan... Did you remember the accident?"
From her phrasing, it seemed that Haruno was aware of my memory situation.
"Yeah. The person's who's responsible of that accident were Hoshimiya's parents."
"...No way. So it was really Ayana-chan's parents!"
Haruno who's shock. She lowered her head, unsure of how to react.
"You didn't know about Hoshimiya?"
"I had my suspicions. I didn't remember the name, but when I saw the same last name, I thought it might be related... So initially, I tried to keep you away from Ayana-chan as much as possible."
"I see..."
"But then, when I saw Ayana-chan treating you like any other person, I concluded that it must be a different Hoshimiya."
I understood after hearing her explanation.
At the beginning of my involvement with Hoshimiya, Haruno insisted that "Ayana-chan was off-limits to me" without revealing her reasons. However, she eventually accepted the idea of me being with Hoshimiya.
"...Hoshimiya doesn't remember the accident."
"...Huh?"
"...To be more precise, Hoshimiya's parents committed suicide."
"Huh? Wait, wait a moment, Riku-chan. Tell me what happened between Ayana-chan and you."
Haruno who's even got more shock, I revealed everything that had happened the previous night.
Upon hearing the whole story, Haruno remained silent, her lips trembling.
"That's the situation. It's really an incredible coincidence, isn't it?"
"Riku-chan..."
"I just can't understand anymore."
Haruno remained wordless, her mouth closed tightly.
Not knowing what to say, Haruno seemed lost in the midst of this painful silence.
Then, as if struck by an idea, I spoke lightly.
"Haruno... I... I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you."
"....Huh?"
Haruno seemed surprised by the sudden confession, her eyes blinking rapidly.
"I want to be with you, Haruno. I want us to be a family."
"Um, well, um..."
"I want you to live here with me. I want you by my side forever."
"C-Calm down, Riku-chan. It's so sudden..."
I stood up from my chair, approached the bewildered Haruno, and firmly grasped her shoulders, pouring out my feelings.
"I've liked you for a long time. It might sound weird, but I've always thought about you and followed you with my eyes."
"Y-Yeah..."
"It was really painful when people said they only saw us as childhood friends. You're the only one for me, and if I'm rejected by you... then this world would lose all its meaning for me."
"But now... there's Ayana-chan..."
"That Hoshimiya is the source of my pain!"
"Riku-chan..."
An intense feeling surged up from the depths of my being, reaching the back of my throat.
Tears overflowed from my eyes.
"Yeah, that's right... Haruno was right. I like Hoshimiya! But you know what? Hoshimiya's presence is what torments me! Whenever I remember Hoshimiya... the moment my family was hit by a car... the thought of Hoshimiya's parents...!"
"Riku-chan... But you're worried about Ayana-chan, aren't you?"
"I am worried, of course I am! Because I love her... But I don't care about it anymore! Hoshimiya... she's the beginning of it all!"
I poured out everything in a choked voice mixed with sobs.
"Haruno... please be with me! I realize now that you're the only one for me... I don't want to look at anyone else anymore!"
"..."
My grip on Haruno's shoulders tightened involuntarily.
But Haruno didn't show any signs of pain and looked straight into my eyes.
"Haruno... you... you love me too, right?"
"Riku-chan..."
"I want you to be by my side forever. I'll do anything for you... and let's get married someday, okay?"
Haruno would accept everything about me.
That's how it's been all along.
She says she loves me and worries about me, even coming to my house.
Me and Haruno together...
"..."
"Haruno, what's wrong?"
Why is Haruno not saying anything?
Why won't she respond?
Why is she wearing such a dark and troubled expression...!
───I'm gonna be rejected again.
Just like back then, I'm gonna be rejected.
A confession I was so sure would succeed, yet will not.
Once again, I'm being rejected...
"Riku-chan."
In the midst of my heart being squeezed, Haruno's attitude suddenly changes—a bright smile, like the sun, appears on her face as she opens her mouth.
"It's fine, let's date."
"Haruno..."
"I want you to be happy, Riku-chan. But you know, if I see you talking to other girls... I'll definitely get jealous. I can be a troublesome girl like that, is that okay?"
"It's okay, it's more than okay. Besides, I don't talk to any other girls except you."
"...I see. That's right."
For a moment, Haruno seemed like she wanted to say something, but she laughed cheerfully and said, "Ahaha."
"Haruno, I want to be with you forever."
"It's fine. If Riku-chan wishes for it... I'll be by your side."
Haruno, with a loving smile on her face, gently strokes my cheek.
Ah, finally. My wish finally come true.
So many things have happened in this past month.
But the feelings I've held since we were in kids finally accomplished something.
Just like before, we will continue to walk in our own world, just the two of us──.
◇ ◇ ◇
I wake up feeling unusually restless.
I see the familiar ceiling and realize that I'm in my own bed.
"..."
Someone is clinging to my body, pressing against me with strong force.
That must be the cause of my restlessness. Even without seeing their face, I know who it is.
"Haruno, it's morning already."
"Mmm... Riku-chan...?"
As Haruno slowly lifts her head, a sweet and tangy refreshing scent wafts through the air.
"Good morning, Riku-chan."
"Good morning..."
Haruno's eyes are still sleepy. Her words is still not clear. She's still half-asleep.
"Um, well... I think I mentioned this the day before yesterday, but if you're going to cling to me, please do it a little more gently. It's a bit suffocating."
"Eh, we used to sleep like this when we were little, you know."
"That's not true. I only remember holding hands while sleeping."
"Well, Riku-chan, you used to hold me after falling asleep. It feels really nice, you know?"
With a carefree smile, Haruno snuggles her head against my chest, preparing to fall asleep again.
...The sense of closeness has become quite intense. It's a bit late to realize that now.
It has been two weeks since I started dating Haruno. We have begun living together in my house.
Of course, we have received permission from Haruno's parents.
"...But Haruno, we have school today too."
"Oh, right."
"What 'oh, right'... We'll be late--"
"We still have time. Just five more minutes..."
As I try to sit up, Haruno pushes me back with her weight.
She clings to me with all her might, like a cute little creature seeking for affection.
Five more minutes... Glancing at the clock, we still have plenty of time.
Five minutes, I guess I can immerse myself with her a little bit.
Chapter 5 Part 1 End. Open for correction. I wonder what happened in that past weeks between this two. Also I'm hoping it will end with Haruno, just because how far she goes with Riku. but the title tells me it's gonna be Hoshimiya....
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