Chapter 3: Daily Life 3

"They seem close, and they look good together also..."

Muttering such things while looking Kuromine-kun and Kana talking at the corner of the garden.

Although they're seems quarrelling about something, they don't look genuinely dislike each other.

They can say whatever they want to say to each other.... It feels they're perfect together.

"How nice Kana...."

Thinking this way, I find it strange.

"...?"

The unfamiliar emotion I hold for Kuromine-kun and the jealousy I feel now, are both new...

Anyway, I find it warm in heart.

"Kuromine-kun...?"

For some reason, looking at Kuromine-kun makes my mind ache. It's like I've forgotten something...

Watching them talking, I shifted my gaze to the grain of rice on my fingertip.

And stared at it...

This grain of rice was on the corner of Kuromine-kun's mouth...

I sneak a glance at Kuromine-kun and Kana. They're not looking this way.

"..."

As I prepare to take an action, nervousness sets in.

My hearts starts pounding resonating within my body.

Once again, I confirm that Kuromine-kun and Kana are not looking.

Instead of looking at me, they hadn't even noticed me.

The timing is now...

"Ahm..."

Summoning my courage, I put the fingertip with the grain of rice into my mouth.

Without chewing, I swallowed it.

"...ra... Ba... no"

"...so... i..."

Their conversation rides on the wind and reaches my ears.

No one witnessed my embarrassing act just now.

"I ate it... Even though it was on Kuromine-kun's mouth..."

My cheeks grow hot, and I feel somewhat guilty.

The grain of rice didn't have any taste.

◆◆◆

By the time we finished weeding, it was already evening.

As expected we finished it in a single day. Well, most of it seems because of Hoshimiya and me worked hard for it.

I toss the gathered weeds into a garbage bag and gaze at the now neat and tidy garden. Despite how overgrown weeds it has, the soil now can be seen and it's quite refreshing to see.

"It's kind of nice, doing this..."

I guess you could call it a good kind of fatigue. This sensation is new to me, so I immersed myself a little bit.

"Pure, like a child." Next to me was Kana, standing and jokingly said but also with exasperated voice.

Then, Hoshimiya flashes a gentle smile and said, "Isn't this nice. I like this more."

"Well, it's not bad..." Kana replied.

"Hoshimiya, I want you to say that words from earlier again."

"Earlier...? You mean the 'I like this more'?"

"Yeah. One more."

"I like this more...?"

Looking at me, Hoshimiya appears puzzled and suspicious. A pure reaction, indeed.

"This time, remove the 'this more' and add 'you'."

".....Huh?! K-Kuromine-kun!? What are you trying to say!?"

Hoshimiya's face isn't turning red because of the sunset, right?

Feeling warmth, my heart felt nostalgia.

If we were still dating, I would have hugged her with this moment.

◆◆◆

After dinner, bath time arrives.

Hoshimiya and Kana, who dislike the sticky sweat, were about to head to the bathroom together.

"Wait a moment, both of you."

"What is it?"

"Excluding me out?"

"....? Do you want to go with us?"

"Ayana! Don't show any sympathy."

"We're comrades who worked hard weeding together. Let's all take bath together..."

"Don't talk nonsense! Come on, Ayana." With a hiss like a snake's threat, Kana pushes Hoshimiya's back and they disappear down the hallway.

I guess it didn't work out after all. Well, even if I were given permission, that would have been a problem too.

My heart wouldn't be able to handle bathing with two girls. Especially if one of them is Hoshimiya. I'm confident I'd get a nosebleed and collapse afterwards.

Returning to the living room, Soeda-san is in the corner of the room, sitting near the table while watching the TV.

"Soeda-san, thank you again for today. We'll be in your care again tomorrow."

"No problem. It's fun when there are lots of young people around. Makes me feel young again."

Soeda-san's face breaks into a gentle smile, deepening the wrinkles on her face even more.

Casually sitting near the table, Soeda-san looks at me and her expression becomes serious. A sense of tension washes over me. I've been used seeing her smiling, so it feels unsettling seeing Soeda-san like this...

Could it be that she's about to demand an exorbitant amount of money?

She might angrily shout, "There's no way I'm letting you stay here for free!"

I was feeling anxious inside, but Soeda-san's eyes held more deeper meaning.

"Do you know about Ayana-chan's situation?"

"Yes."

"I see. Were you two dating?"

"..." I nodded silently.

Soeda-san closed her mouth and didn't show any reaction.

"How much do you know, Soeda-san?"

"About Ayana-chan's family situation and... her memories, I guess. As for the friend relationship, I haven't heard much."

"Is that so..."

"I also just know yesterday that Ayana-chan forgotten about you."

That's not surprising. Without being told by the person themselves, I wouldn't have known about their relationship or even existence either.

Within Hoshimiya, I am non-existent person. So last night, when Hoshimiya was asleep, I taken the opportunity and explained everything to Soeda-san.

"What do you want, Riku-kun?"

"Huh?"

"What do you want from Ayana-chan?"

A gently phrased question. However, Soeda-san's sharp gaze seemed to probe my thoughts, peering into both of my eyes.

"I know that you're not bad person. But, you know, I'm curious about your intentions in this house... and what you're seeking from Ayana-chan. Look, it's already second day and you haven't accomplished anything, right?"

Even though I already told I have no hostility, Mr. Soeda keeps bombarding me with relentless questions.

Well, she's her family so it's no wonder she'll asked.

As a person who's taking care of Hoshimiya, it's normal to know who or what their intentions to her.

Surely, up until this moment, she must have been observing me, and trying to figure out who I was.

"I want to be with Hoshimiya."

When asked what I want, there's no choice but to answer that way.

"But if it's better for Hoshimiya that I'm not around... I don't mind keeping my distance."

"Is that true?"

"............"

"What if Ayana-chan started dating another boy?"

I'm taken aback. The words choke me, making my heart tighten.

Of course, I want to be Hoshimiya's special someone and bring her happiness with my own hands.

Wish for the happiness of the one you love the most.

A beautiful words that everyone hears at least once in their lifetime. But only a handful of people can truly achieve it. That's why it's just empty words. Most people prioritize their own feelings and desires unconsciously. Even when a stalker targeted Hoshimiya or even me... Both of us only think about ourselves. Driven by that desire to be recognized by the person.

If a person faced a rejection, emotions run wild, and we selfishly act out.

"............"

Recalling Haruno. When I decided to go meet Hoshimiya, Haruno was wholeheartedly supported me.

Her goal was to be with me but, I didn't choose her and most likely got heartbreak. However, she didn't emit even the slightest hint of hate. She brightly supported and push me forward. That image, her image that time, was probably a person who truly wish for the person she love to be happy.

"To me..."

I thought I couldn't do the same.

Not getting any results = disappointment. That's the only way I can think of right now.

My wish for Hoshimiya's happiness is genuine, but my desire to be with her is also strong.

I want her to look at me and accept me.

If my presence were to hurt Hoshimiya... I could accept that.

Killing my emotions and leave.

But because Hoshimiya still loves me, because there's still hope, my longing for my Hoshimiya keeps growing.

As I'm silently overwhelmed by the swirling thoughts in my head, Soeda-san asserts.

"It's a harsh path, you know. Without a doubt, you're trying to walk the most difficult path."

"Even so, I don't want to turn back..."

No matter how much I think it over, there's something I can do and that will not change.

I will become Hoshimiya's boyfriend once more, and I won't run away no matter what happens.

Whether Hoshimiya's memories return or not...

I will repeat this to myself.

"I'm sorry for asking such a painful question."

"It's alright..."

"I'm cheering for you."

With a gentle smile, Soeda-san, who had been sitting, slowly stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"............"

Left alone in the living room, I feel an indescribable lingering feeling.

I was aware that my actions were becoming somewhat half-hearted.

While saying that Hoshimiya's happiness comes first, I've begun to prioritize my own feelings.

Or rather, my feelings have swelled to the point where restraining them has become difficult.

My desire for Hoshimiya has been growing stronger.

I'm the only one who remembers the daily life with Hoshimiya, the rest have forgotten... by Hoshimiya.

And this information will accelerate the process.

◆◆◆

"............"

My throat is dry, and I wake up in the middle of the night. I look around the room shrouded in darkness and fumble to find the string of the lamp. Pulling it down, I hear a click as the light comes on.

Oddly, I'm having trouble falling asleep. Thinking about Hoshimiya, I'm weighed down by a sense of exhaustion.

"I guess I should get something to drink..."

I head downstairs to the kitchen. I'm surprised to find someone else there.

"Oh, Kuromine-kun, did you wake up too?"

"Yeah..."

Hoshimiya stands in front of the fridge, seemingly here for a drink as well. She notices my gaze, takes out a 2-liter bottle labeled 'Natural Spring Water' from the fridge, tilts her head slightly, and shows it to me. Even such a small gesture makes my heart skip a beat.

"Do you want some water too, Kuromine-kun?"

"Yeah."

Hoshimiya prepares two glass cups, carefully tilting the bottle to pour water. Once the cups are filled, she hands one to me with a light smile, making sure our fingers don't touch as I take it.

Then, Hoshimiya glances briefly toward the living room...

"Hey, Kuromine-kun. Can we talk for a little bit?"

◆◆◆

We moved to the living room and sat down near the table, facing each other in silence.

Hearing the crickets in the middle of the night. In this moment, I consciously felt being alone with Hoshimiya.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"....What do you think of me?"

She asked directly, making me avert my gaze from her intense stare.

"Well..."

"I can't help but wonder, Kuromine-kun. Your actions, I can't believe they're just out of concern for your classmates. Normally, nobody would go this far..."

"Normal... I suppose."

I'm driven by the urge to lay it all out.

We're dating, I want to say it to her face.

Hoshimiya gaze is at the cup on the table, waiting for me to start talking.

I sensed a resolution in her question, that she prepared herself for it.

With a straightforward question, Hoshimiya must have been thinking about various things, wrestling with her thoughts.

The fact that her memories are gone but her affection remains, likely contributes a complex psychological state.

"Kuromine-kun...?"

"Hoshimiya... What do you really think of me?"

"A classmate..."

"Is that all?"

"...Ugh."

Without answering the question, Hoshimiya's face turned bright red.

I averted my gaze and fell silent, once again staring at my cup.

Her obvious abnormal behavior triggered a certain intuition in my mind.

Could she already aware of it...?

Perhaps she became aware of her own feelings.

If so, this is a faster development than I had imagined. I expected this as long-time struggle but, this pleasant surprise is welcome.

In that case... Is it okay to confess now?

I want to establish a special relationship with Hoshimiya as soon as possible. No, I want us to be lovers again.

I hesitate over whether I should confess or not.

Before I knew it, I found myself staring intently at Hoshimiya's face.

"Ah────"

Hoshimiya noticed my gaze and let out a faint voice.

With our attention focused solely on each other, the sounds of the insects' cries faded into the distance.

...I should say it. "I love you." "Please be my girlfriend." I can't hold back any longer.

Because we're mutually in love, and we're actually already dating.

"Hosh────"

"I'm sorry for saying something weird, Kuromine-kun."

"Huh?"

Hoshimiya was the one who spoke first. My planned was stopped, I struggled to continue my words.

"I'll be alone for a bit to sort out my feelings. It's like there are various emotions swirling around... and I'm starting to lose sight of who I really am."

After finishing her water, Hoshimiya took the cup in her hand and stood up.

Without waiting for my response, she turned her back and headed towards the exit of the living room.

As Hoshimiya began to distance herself... a sense of urgency arose.

I missed the timing to confess by mere seconds, and a feeling of impatience surged through me.

"Wait, Hoshimiya!"

"Huh────"

I stood up in a hurry and rushed towards her back, but my feet got entangled, and I stumbled forward diving to Hoshimiya.

Just as Hoshimiya happened to turn back, I fell onto her. As my weight push her down, her back hit the floor with a dull thud, and the sound echoed for a moment.

"I-It hurts...!"

Looking down at Hoshimiya, her face twisted in pain, I realized I was in an incredibly awkward position.

Coincidentally, as if to immobilize her, I pressed Hoshimiya's shoulders onto the floor.

"It hurts... ahhh...!"

In my field of view, I saw Hoshimiya's face, her eyes reflecting my grave expression.

Taken aback, Hoshimiya remained still in silent, gazing into my eyes.

A quiet moment, locked in each other's gaze.

The sense of urgency that frustrated me moments ago vanished, replaced by a different emotion.

The person I longed for so much was now so close...

Unconsciously, I moved my right hand and touched Hoshimiya's cheek.

"────"

The moment I made contact, Hoshimiya's face trembled slightly. I moved my right hand lightly, as if massaging, feeling the soft and warm sensation under my touch. Now, I tried stroking it with the palm of my hand.

*Stroke, stroke, stroke...*

I became engrossed in touching Hoshimiya's cheek.

"............"

I want to touch more. I want to feel you more, Hoshimiya. I want her to feel me too.

Somewhere in my mind, I was aware that my reserveness vanished. I couldn't resist my desires, and I ignored the warnings.

"─Ah, fu... yah... nngh...!"

Finally, I noticed the small breath escaping in her lips.

My consciousness returned from my right hand to my field of view, and I realized Hoshimiya's condition.

"Kuromine-kun...!"

Her appearance was like a frightened small animal.

Hoshimiya, tightly shutting her eyes, clasped her hands before her chest as if offering a prayer, her body trembling with tension.

"Ah────I-I'm sorry!"

I quickly moved away from her, almost leaping, and lowered my head in a posture almost akin to a bow.

What have I done...!

It's only natural to be scared when a guy pushes you down and touches your face. Even if it's someone you have feelings for, but if you're not yet in a relationship, means it's scary.

Especially with Hoshimiya's personality...

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you...!"

"............"

Hoshimiya, who was caressing her right cheek, stood up without looking at me and without a word. Her face wasn't visible; I couldn't confirm her expression. But I could sense the dark atmosphere.

"Hoshimiya────"

"Huh"

In response to my call, Hoshimiya abruptly turned around and practically fled from the living room in a hurried jog.

The fading sound of footsteps reflected the psychological distance between Hoshimiya and me. I could only stand there in bewilderment. The next emotion that welled up was anger towards myself.

"What the hell... What was I thinking, damn it...!"

Hoshimiya had been bravely confronting her own feelings and trying to find answers, and I had ruined it all...

I utterly destroyed everything, and on top of that, I also hurt her delicate heart.

I'm back. It's almost school. F*ck I don't want to go. But still, a young guy like me who don't have anything to do, currently need to attend to school because I don't have anything to do. So, if some readers out here just finished highschool this year, and you're lazy at going to school again but you still think you can't do anything yet at your age, go to school. Don't waste your time. Ko-Fi below.

-Support Me-

https://ko-fi.com/animestuff85370

-Visit my epub-pdf website-

https://animestuff.me/

Join on my Telegram:

https://t.me/animestuff2023