Chapter 2: Tokami Riku will not be conquered 4

After that, we regroup with Suzune and headed to a store that deals with leather products.

The reason for this is to find Father's Day gift for Suzune's father. Due to Suzune's father's profession, the usual gifts were ties and business card holders but Suzune said he doesn't really used those, so we couldn't decide what to give him. So, I suggested that we all search together.

At first, Suzune hesitated and asked the opinion of the other two, but Mimori and Kurusu-san nodded in agreement, finding it interesting. And so, the four of us are now carefully selecting a gift.

"U-um, hey. Suzune, what about this wallet? I think the pattern is quite nice." I asked.

"...Hmm, maybe."

Because of Suzune's lack of interest reply, our conversation didn't continue onwards.

This group atmosphere were like a family eating in late night family restaurant. (TL: Families eating in family restaurant in japan were silent maybe because their trying to be considerate or probably because of unusual problem in the family.)

Ever since Suzune was added to the group, Mimori has been trying not to talk too much, to not to reveal our relationship. As for Suzune, she seems to be cautious on Mimori or perhaps frightened. It seems like she's more preoccupied with Mimori than in selecting gifts.

The atmosphere is so awkward that even me who has high tolerance, (because of my classmates) felt really uncomfortable in it.

In addition, Suzune also seems uncertain about the Father's Day gift.

"This notepad, cost this...!? It's kind of sad that even though I worked so hard to earn money, yet I can't even buy this..."

Indeed, it might have been unreasonable for high schoolers to consider buying leather products.

Then, the disciplinary chair standing next to us muttered quietly, "Is it expensive...?" Don't you have a strange sense of money?

"Yeah, we definitely picked the wrong store. Were there any other options?"

"Then, how about we split up and search separately? Tokami-kun and Suzune-chan together, and me with Kurusu-san."

Everyone were surprised at the unexpected words from Mimori.

"This place is divided into the North Wing and the South Wing, so I think it's easier to search if we split into two groups, right?"

"I see, not a bad idea. Tokami-kun, Suzune-san, let's meet again later, okay?"

Kurusu-san nodded as if she understood something and left with Mimori. While we were left behind, we could somehow guess what the two of them were thinking.

Surely, they gave us some time to talk alone together.

Suzune seemed to have realized that as well. She had a somewhat apologetic expression and said, "I made Mimori-san and Kurusu-san worry... I'm sorry. It's because I selfishly said I wanted to go together."

"It's not a big deal. Maybe it's because you were worried about me?"

Suzune hesitated and nodded slightly.

"I often hear from my friends that Mimori-san is a bad person. They say she gets involved with different men and then just discards them. If something like that were to happen to you, Senpai and became friends with her and got deceived, I wouldn't want that to happen."

I feel happy about her feelings, but it also makes me realize that she doesn't have trust in me... That's what I thought right after.

"Well, in middle school, I've seen senpai getting hurt by girls many times... So when I thought about the possibility of seeing you in that state again because of Mimori-san, I could only think that I have to protect you..."

"............"

It's not a big deal, really. Many male students have experienced being disliked or annoyed by their female classmates. I'm just one of them.

However, the Kouhai standing in front of me genuinely worries about me.

I can't match Suzune at all, considering she knows everything about my past experience.

As soon as I thought that, I found myself patting Suzune's head.

"...Senpai?"

"Thanks. Suzune, you're such a good kouhai, even better than I deserve."

"...S-Stop this already. Please stop patting my head. Things are different from when we were in middle school, so I don't want to be treated like a child."

Suzune turns away, looking embarrassed.

"Ah, my bad... But there's one thing I want to say."

"What is it?"

"You don't have to worry at all about me being deceived by her. I don't think Mimori is not that kind of person, as much as the rumors said about her.

"How... How can you say that?"

"When you said you wanted to come with us, Mimori was the first one to accept right? I think she realized that you were worried about me."

Mimori is always afraid that someone will get hurt because of her rumors. That's the exact reason why she's keeping our relationship secret.

She's probably worried just being with me outside.

I think it's because Mimori worried is about about that. That's why she allowed Suzune to come.

"I don't know if the rumors about her are true or not. But for me, I think Mimori is a kind person more than you think." I said to Suzune.

"........"

However, Suzune could only respond with a hesitant silence.

Well, I guess it can't be helped. It would be difficult to suddenly ask you to believe me.

For about twenty minutes after that, Suzune and I wandered around, looking for a suitable Father's Day gift. Along the way, Suzune asked for my opinion, but I didn't have much confidence in providing helpful suggestions.

We regroup with Mimori and Kurusu-san after, but it seemed they couldn't find anything good either.

"When it comes to something that would make a father happy, maybe alcohol is the only option. There were also wristwatches, but I think they might exceed the budget." Kurusu-san suggest.

"Hey... Suzune, do you know if your father is having any difficulties or anything? If you give him something that can solve that, he might be happy."

"Now that you mention it, recently he's been watching Adela○s commercials with a distant look..."

Yeah, you need to leave that alone.

But geez, I wonder if there's anything else... Just when I started to worry about it, Kurusu-san spoke up.

"Hey, I've been thinking. How about you gives him handmade sweets instead?"

"Sweets?"

"As a high school student, your parents still sees you as a kid. So instead of spending money, wouldn't it be better to make something with from the heart-effort? I think your father would appreciate it."

"Hahaha, I see. I didn't think of that. So, what do you think, Senpai? My handmade sweets?"

"Well..."

Suzune asks me with upturned eyes, and I give my honest opinion.

"I think it's a great idea. If your daughter made something handmade for their sake, I'm sure they would be happy. Your parents might even want you to use your earnings from your part-time job for yourself."

"I see... Yes, I understand! I'll give it a try!"

Suzune is such a good child. If I were her father, I would undoubtedly burst into tears.

"But, I haven't really cooked much before. I'm not sure what kind of sweets to make..."

"Oh right, now that I think about it, Mimori is good at cooking, right? She's probably knowledgeable about sweets t──" Suddenly I realize that Mimori and Kurusu-san were staring at me with a dumbfounded expression.

...Isn't it bad if Suzune know how I found out that Mimori is good at cooking?

"Oh! Mimori was talking about it earlier, how cooking is her hobby!"

"Ah, ahaha, yeah, that's right. Oh, sweets, huh? I also make them occasionally." Mimori said as if she's backing me up.

As I quickly cover up, Mimori and I are met with a disbelieving gaze from Kurusu-san.

And Suzune looked at Mimori with a surprised expression.

"Mimori-san, you can cook...?"

"Well, yeah. I live alone, so... Is it surprising?"

"No, it's just..."

"It's no wonder you're surprised. The rumors about me are nothing good. It's not something you would expect from a girl like me who is surrounded by such rumors."

She always had that innocent smile on her face in front of me.

"I think handmade sweets are a wonderful gift. If you're not used to cooking, I recommend beginner-friendly butter cookies or something like that... Good luck."

Suzune was left dumbfounded.

I understand Suzune's feelings. Mimori Yui is supposed to be a girl disliked by everyone, and that's why she probably never expected to be encouraged so genuinely.

Suddenly, Suzune looks at the clock. I remember that she was supposed to go home in the evening. There's not much time left... Suzune tightly grabs the hem of her skirt and,

"Um, Mimori-san. Can we talk for a moment? Just the two of us."

"....Huh?"

"Today, I was so nervous and couldn't talk to you at all. I wanted to have a proper conversation before we part ways..."

"...It's fine, really. Getting involved with me would only make you regret it, you know?"

"Isn't fine. Suzune-san wants it, so why not accompany her for a little chat? Suzune-san seems to have an interest in you."

Upon Kurusu-san's words, Suzune nods repeatedly. Mimori, with a hesitant expression, meets Suzune's sincere gaze...

"...Well, then, just for a little while."

"Ah... Thank you so much! Um, how about we chat while eating something sweet? I found a delicious crepe shop with my friends the other day!"

Suzune must be nervous. She clings to Mimori's arm, pulling her along as if they were close friends.

Kurusu-san chuckles softly and says, "Suzune-san is an interesting girl. ...What's wrong, Tokami-kun? Your cheeks seems to have loosened up."

"...Huh, no."

As I watch the two of them getting smaller in the distance, I mutter to myself.

"It's because Suzune is the first one to try facing Mimori, even if it's just a little, ...I just thought she's my prideful kouhai, that's all."

Until Mimori and Suzune come back, we decided to wait.

I bought two drinks for both of us.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Kurusu-san, you wanted a milkshake, right?"

"Yes, thank you. But you didn't have to treat me. Tokami-kun, you don't have much money, do you?"

"You've been helpful all this time, like you're not interrupting us on our conversation and you were considerate in various things today, right?"

"It goes both ways. I enjoyed seeing the lovey-dovey Yui and the innocent Tokami-kun. It made things progress in various ways. Thank you for the treat."

Yeah, let's not ask what progress.

"But in the end, Tokami-kun, you didn't make any moves, did you? I heard you we're inexperienced in love, but I didn't expect you to be so timid. Normally, when a girl makes such moves, a guy would also respond. It's a shame for a you to let such an opportunity slip by, right?"

"A man who selfishly enjoys a girl without considering her feelings is much more shameful, I think."

"You have a point... If other guys saw you, they would be insanely jealous, you know? You've got a lover who loves flirtatious conversation and seduces you everytime after all."

"...Flirtatious conversation?"

"If you say something like, 'Milk'shakes sound erotic, don't they?"

That's just a sexual harassment creep.

Also, when I talk to Kurusu-san, I forget the concept of discipline. What is discipline, anyway?

"Well, if that's what you wants, I don't mind. Yui has become brighter since she started dating you."

"Brighter? Wasn't Mimori always like that in terms of personality?"

"Yeah, kind of, but it was the first time I saw Yui laugh so much. After all, Yui at school is isolated."

I remember that Mimori sitting in the classroom, looking at her phone expressionlessly while everyone around her openly avoids her.

Even now, I sometimes wonder if that scene was all lie.

To me, Mimori is a girl who often teases me and laughs at me.

"You can be more proud, you know? You're the one who's making Yui so happy."

"...Well, I'm not in love with her, yet we're in a relationship. Honestly, I feel guilty about it."

"You said you couldn't fall in love with Yui, but there's one thing that bothers me."

"What is it?" I asked.

"In Tokami-kun's case, it's not that you can't fall in love, but rather... you don't want to fall in love.... I think that's more accurate."

For a moment, my mind went blank.

That's impressive, and I genuinely think so. We've only met a few times, yet she noticed what's going on inside me.

"...Well, yeah. In middle school and stuff, I had quite a few unpleasant experiences with girls. So, my default mindset is, 'There's no way girls would like me,' that's how it usually operate."

"Tokami-kun, you have an extremely low self-evaluation. But I think Yui genuinely likes you."

I understand that. There's also a part of me that wants to respond to Mimori's feelings.

But, it's still impossible for me.

Every time I exchange words with Mimori and starts to open up, there's always a warning sign within me saying, "Don't let your guard down," reminding me not to develop romantic feelings for her.

Because if I were to fall in love, I would be deeply hurt when I inevitably get betrayed.

In other words... I don't even have the courage to fall in love with Mimori.

"Well, for now, I guess that's fine." Kurusu-san drinks her drink with a satisfied expression.

"...I seem carefree, but despite appearances, I'm actually quite troubled."

"I'm not saying that falling in love with someone is wonderful or anything like that. If Tokami-kun doesn't want to fall in love, that's okay. It still means something for you to be by Yui's side."

Kurusu-san wears a gentle smile.

"If possible, please stay by Yui's side forever. That's all I wish for."

"...Is that so?"

Just staying by Mimori's side, huh?

While Kurusu-san says that, there's still a barrier between me and Mimori. And the one creating that barrier is none other than me. So, I proposed something.

"Um, Kurusu-san... I have something I'd like to discuss."

...And a few minutes later.

"Senpai! And Kurusu-san! Sorry to keep you waiting!"

When I turned around, Suzune and Mimori is there standing.

Maybe it's just my imagination, but both of them seem to have softer expressions compared to earlier.

"Also, I'm sorry, but I have to go home soon... Thank you for helping me look for a gift today. Let's meet again somewhere!"

With parting words, Suzune left.

"By the way, what did you and Suzune talk about?" I asked Mimori.

"That's a secret. Suzune-chan asked me to keep it between us.... But she did advise me not to approach you at school."

A secret, huh? It piques my curiosity...

"Anyway, it's getting late. This might be the last place..... Time went by so quickly. Has a day ever gone by this fast?"

Mimori murmured, her face somewhat looked lonely.

Before I realized it, I found myself speaking to Mimori.

"There's one last place I want to go. Is that okay?"

"...With you, Riku-kun?"

It's natural for Mimori to be surprised. It's the first time I've ever said I want to go somewhere. And then, I said my proposal we planned earlier with Kurusu-san.

"If you're okay with it, I want to ride the Ferris wheel... Just the two of us, you and me."

The Ferris wheel at the seaside was surprisingly empty, and we were able to ride without waiting in line.

The staff closed the door, and the Ferris wheel carrying us slowly ascended.

At that moment, I can see Kurusu-san waving her hand. I couldn't hear her voice, but it seemed like she was saying something, and her mouth movements felt like saying "Do your best."

I didn't know who she was encouraging, Mimori or me.

"I never expected you to suggest riding this. Ahaha, even though we're always alone when we meet, it feels strange, doesn't it?" Mimori, sitting in front of me, chuckled. Her shy face was so different from the mischievous girl who usually teases me, and it was charmingly innocent.

I've realized recently that Mimori is proactive but vulnerable to accidents. Even when I accidentally touched her chest, she got embarrassed. Maybe her attack power is high, but her defense is extremely low. I remember there were cards like that in the card game I used to play in elementary school.

...Well, I'm nervous too, though.

"But thank you. Riku-kun, you're reluctantly dating me, right? That's why I was happy when you invited me."

"...I feel the same way. Even though I say I don't want to fall in love, you're still willing to be with someone like me. I should be the one who should be grateful."

"I see... We both felt like we were causing trouble for each other."

With a smile on her face, Mimori gazed at the sunset over the sea.

"Even this date, I was surprised that you're the actual planner on it. It's usually me who wants to be with you, so I never expected you to invite me."

"...Yeah, I guess."

Inviting her to the Ferris wheel was exactly the reason why.

If she asked me to scream "Ahh!," I would do it. If she asked me to touch her upper arm, I would. I would try to fulfill Mimori's desires, enduring the embarrassment, for most things.

But despite being in a relationship.

I have never once asked Mimori to do something for me.

"...Since middle school, I've always been rejected by girls."

The words spilled out as if I'm apologizing.

"Being disliked were more natural to me than being like, and those unpleasant memories have always in my heart."

"So, Suzune-chan was so concerned about me because of that?"

"*Sigh*... So you noticed it after all, huh..."

"Well, of course, when someone stares at me like that..."

Mimori chuckled softly, as if finding it amusing.

"Suzune-chan seemed like she wanted to protect you, Riku-kun. I was curious about why... But it seems Suzune-chan knew about your past."

"Well... It's not really a big deal. But I think there are probably quite a few guys like me out there. You know, those who realize that having a girlfriend is just impossible for them. Umm, it's probably just me."

It's nothing special, just a common occurrence.

Confessions being brutally rejected, love letters being plastered on the blackboard the next day, being gossiped about for having an odd way of speaking, being laughed at for having an unappealing face, being treated like a punishment to talk to, being blatantly avoided during team activity, being cried over when paired up for the sports festival, being disliked for merely existing...

Everyone has at least one memory they want to erase from those kinds of experiences. I think I'm just bound by those memories.

"So, one day, I thought to myself. Instead of pursuing unrequited love, I should just give up from the beginning... If I don't expect anyone to like me, then I won't get hurt."

Even now, I don't think that way of living is wrong. After all, there's no right or wrong in how someone chooses to live their life.

...However, if there's one thing that wants to change, it's myself...

It's that I fear even falling in love with a girl who says she likes me.

I fear that Mimori, too, will eventually betray me. That fear won't let go in my heart and mind.

I'm afraid of desiring. I'm afraid of longing. I'm afraid of being rejected by Mimori.

"I'm sorry... Even though saying these things will only trouble you."

I wonder if she's disillusioned with me. Sometimes, I even think it would be better if she just got fed up with me.

Someone like me who isn't prepared to fall in love probably deserves to be rejected in the end.

In the silence, only the Ferris wheel moves slowly... and then, Mimori softly speaks.

"It's been about two weeks since I started dating you right, Riku-kun?"

"...Yeah?"

What could be the problem? That's what crossed my mind as I tilted my head in confusion.

"I've actually been told by several guys to become friends with them."

"...You?"

What is she talking about...? I couldn't bring myself to voice that question.

Mimori, with a gentle expression, looked straight into my eyes.

"They all really used similar words. They said something like, 'I feel bad for Mimori-san, I want to help you somehow.' Even when I refused, they would keep pleading."

"But isn't that strange?"

If they knew about the rumors surrounding her, they should have understood the risks of becoming friends. It's hard to believe they would easily offer their help... And then, it suddenly echoed in my mind. A certain phrase uttered by Takahashi-kun resurfaced.

'--There were apparently several guys trying to get with Mimori, you know? After all, it's an easy chance to get that experience.'

No way...

"But in the end, it was all a lie. They all had ulterior motives... Ah, but don't misunderstand. They didn't lay a finger on me, and I managed to escape from all of them."

I couldn't find the words to respond.

Even after experiencing such a terrible betrayal, Mimori still wore a smile.

"The longest one lasted was probably a week, before they started making moves forcefully... But it's been two weeks since we started dating, and you haven't even tried to hold my hand, right?"

Mimori chuckled softly.

"Congratulations, you hold the record for the longest. It's the first time that someone genuinely treats me like this, without any ulterior motives."

Before I knew it, I was clenching my fist so tightly that it hurt. Anger burned inside me, threatening to consume my mind.

Why? Why can't the people around me... see who she is?

"Riku-kun, you believe that no girl could possibly like you, right? But... I like you."

Mimori's gentle smile, illuminated in the evening sun.

"You're kind to others, and you always care about me. I'm falling in love with every part of you... Even the painful memories and the past you want to forget. I'm sure they were so difficult that you didn't want to remember. Thank you for opening up to me."

"...Mimori."

Oh... Mimori is truly an unwavering girl.

She doesn't try to cheer me up or push me, but she simply stays by my side for the sake of the person she loves.

I can't help but to fall in-love Mimori, but there's just part of me that's afraid of her. The fear of being rejected by her is still present in my heart, like a curse. It's not something that can easily be overcome... But even so...

I just want the courage to connect with her in this moment.

Leaving the seat with my racing heart, I sit next to Mimori.

"...Riku-kun?"

I feel my breath quicken with nervousness. My mind feels hazy, as if I'm in a dream.

Don't be afraid, speak up.

You're Mimori's boyfriend, aren't you?

"Hey, Mimori... Can I hold your hand?"

My voice is trembling, on the verge of breaking.

What if she's disgusted? What if she rejects me and throws hurtful words at me? If I think about it, I won't be able to look at Mimori's face... Then, a soft warmth in my right hand.

When I glance at Mimori, she smiles and intertwines her fingers with mine.

"Sure, it's fine... It's the first time you've reached out to me like this, Riku-kun."

Emotions couldn't be put into words.

Awkwardly and clumsily, we interlace our fingers and hold hands. It's called the lover's grip. The way we're holding hands now, it's something I cannot possibly do if Mimori were teases me to do it.

I think it feels warm.

I wonder if Mimori feels the same way.

"I'm sorry. It's not that I don't believe your words, Mimori, but... this is the best I can do for now."

"But it's more than enough. Riku-kun, you did your best."

Mimori says it as if it's nothing... She's really weak to surprises.

As she smiles, her cheeks turn a shade of red.

The fear is gone but warmth in my right hand is still in. I gaze at the setting sun and whisper.

"It was fun today... I hope we can go somewhere together again, Mimori."

"Yeah, that would be nice. We bought swimsuits, so maybe we could go to the beach next... I decided on that because I thought beach would suit to you, Riku-kun."

"Oh, is that so... Well, I guess I'll have to take responsibility and go with you then."

The Ferris wheel reaches its peak. All that's left is to get off.

I wish this moment could last forever... but, I couldn't say that. Even now, holding hands with Mimori, my heart beats so intensely that it hurts. I don't even know what would happen if we were alone together like this forever.

But still... I'm glad that Mimori is the one reach to me.

From the bottom of my heart, I truly felt that.